A few months ago I was bullied quite badly by a group of mums not in the group but outside.
Its affected me so much as I lost all my self confidence and became quite withdrawn. I'd never experienced anything like it before. The women in question never did anything to my face just behind my back.
The silence has been the worst part.
I have written them a letter to try and get some degree of closure.
You have behaved so awfully towards me. You have bullied me. I have stayed quiet and tried to be the better person but you have had your say and not given me the right of reply.
My little boy and me were so scared in those really early days. I'd had severe eclampsia towards the end of my pregnancy...i nearly lost my life. I was so scared. I had PND... I tried not to burden anyone with it. I lived in the middle of nowhere and had no friends or family nearby. I was so so isolated.
They tell you that you will meet a group of girls on maternity leave and they will become your lifeline... I was delighted to meet you all at the baby group. I soon realised though that I clicked with some of you and with others not so much ... but that was ok ... our group was big and lots of personalities and we were all in to different things... it was just nice to know I didn't have to be alone during the day and stuck in the house feeling like I had no purpose.... I was on the what's app group with you all and if I needed anything you would be there as I would be for you 100% no questions asked and no need for an explanation.
I enjoyed the memories I created with your children and you. They are my little boys memories too... Facebook brings these up almost every day. But they fill me with anxiety now... .. what will I tell my little boy when he asks me about the early days and the children he was friends with?
You never told me I did or said anything wrong. You never explained to me why you made me sit in that restaurant that night and hardly spoke to me forcing conversations and making me feel like I was worthless and not worthy to be sat at your table?
You never explained why you didnt respond to my message asking you what I had done wrong to you for you to behave so badly to me. You never explained why you left the WhatsApp group and set up a separate group. You didnt tell me why you blocked me on Facebook?
I do forgive you and your behaviour towards me. But please dont do this again to someone else... let this be something you learn from.... your actions could have had more serious and far reaching consequences for someone else who doesn't have the most amazing support network inspite of you all.
My "crime" was to organise my little boys birthday party which didn't fit around YOUR plans. I tried to accommodate you all by trying to find alternative places to have his party so you could all come ... but you know what I had to do what was right for my little boy in the end. All children have that one place they love.... I'm sure you would do the very best for your children too.... and at the end of the day a childs birthday party is just that.... mayhem for a few hours celebrating their special day.. surely it's not about the grown ups?
Why did you insist on having to come to his party anyway.... I categorically told you all you were all so welcome but understood that you had also arranged a surprise baby shower so I really wasnt going to be offended and actually if you want to be petty about it... you had all accepted the invitation to the party and then arranged your baby shower after so why arrange something else for the same day too? If my little boys birthday was so important?
Thank you for going behind my back though and ringing venues to help find a venue for my childs birthday party without my permission and trying to "pull strings" to accommodate YOUR needs..... stuff what my personal issues might have been.... personal issues being a key word here.
Why did you jump to the conclusion when venues, I told you i had contacted didnt have availability, said that they did when you had contacted.... that I had lied to you? I might've said stuff not thinking about what I was saying ... can you imagine the stress I was under? Trying to accommodate you and fit in with your plans and trying to do the right thing for my baby? As well as dealing with a fulltime job and everything else in life.
All I have ever done to you all is tried to be that mum that goes above and beyond to help. To always be their to lend an ear, to be supportive and help out ... to be your cheerleader when you felt like shit and above all to be kind to you I've not got a bad bone or thought in my being.
It's not ok to behave the way that you did and make me feel like I have committed adultery with your husband's/partners or done some real damage to your families welfare.
I hope that one day you read this and you feel just an ounce of what I have been feeling.
You never said anything to me. Your actions did all the talking... talking about me to all the other other mums. You made me feel useless and worthless and that I am a shit person. I felt humiliated, unworthy and dirty... I am not a liar despite what you believe. I've always tried to be the best person I can be. I've always tried to be kind to you all.
I hope you all have the lifelong friendships with each other that you deserve. I hope life is good to you and karma continues to smile upon you. I hope you fulfil your hope's and dreams as mums and people. May you all live blessed and happy lives
The mum you shamed, bullied and treated so badly.